Everything is Foo Bar
A Silicon Valley guide to everything
by Joe Honton
A lighthearted look at our tech jargon.
Ivana struggled to make sense of it all. Every time she heard a coworker say, "just choose the right tool for the job," she was mystified. Until yesterday. That's when she discovered a clue at the Foo Bar, scribbled across the glass countertops in dry erase Sharpie.
Ivana discovered that the key to understanding tech jargon is simply to Google the term together with the phrase "everything is" , like this —
in Smalltalk everything is an object
in Pascal everything is an event
in Ruby everything is an expression
in Java everything is an interface
in Lisp everything is parenthesized
in Python everything is indented
in C everything is a byte
in C# everything is a class
in C++ everything is structured
in BASIC everything is spaghetti
in Eiffel everything is a contract
in Go everything is opinionated
in COBOL everything is CAPITALIZED
in Fortran "everything" is REAL
in Logo everything is a turtle
in PHP everything is an "elePHPant"
in Perl everything is a regular expression
in RegEx everything is /^(.*)$/
in TypeScript everything is typed
in JavaScript everything is prototyped
in RWServe everything is a plugin
in Express everything is middleware
in HTML everything is tagged
in CSS everything is declared
in Doppelmarks everything is double
in BluePhrase everything is shorthand
in SOAP everything is long winded
in REST everything is undocumented
in NoSQL everything is non-relational
in SQL everything is SELECT *
in GNU everything is a utility
in Bash everything is a one-liner
in Linux everything is a file
in Windows everything is a reboot
in TDD everything is a fail
in Jasmine everything is a mock
in Vue everything is reactive
in React everything is immutable
in Cryptography everything is a cipher
in IoT everything is a vulnerability
in Machine Learning everything is fuzzy
in AI everything is . . . coming next year
in Jira everything is a story
in Scrum everything is a sprint
in Docker everything is a container
in Kubernetes everything is orchestration
in DevOps everything is continuous
in Design everything is design
in Everything is Foo Bar "everything" is recursive
